Member-only story
I often feel misunderstood. As a bisexual woman, as a switch. There is a parallel between the two misunderstandings. Say you’re bi and people will tell you that you’re a straight person playing at same sex attraction, not the real deal, or that you are gay but don’t want to admit it, that being bi is a cover. You can end up being misunderstood by both straight and gay people, feeling you belong everywhere but being accepted nowhere. And that’s even before you get accused of being greedy as if the fact of being bisexual by orientation necessarily high, not to say, insatiable sex drive. Say you’re a switch and you are told that you haven’t really discovered your true kink identity. I think that I have and want to explain why.
When I first realised that BDSM was something I wanted to explore, I thought that I was submissive, specifically that I was submissive to women. Femdom was my thing. At one tome I visited a very lovely professional dominatrix in a Birmingham suburb for a number of sessions over a few years and had some lovely experiences. Despite this I don’t feel, in retrospect, that I was growing and developing either in my kink, or specifically in my submission. This is down to me, and not the lady. She was imaginative and creative in her kink and caring as a person. She opened doors but I failed to see them, failed to walk through them to explore further. I think I lacked both the self-awareness and…
